I have done araz for khidmat husainiyah since there is a farman that no one attend Ashara with Huzurala (TUS). I would have prefered to attend with Moula (TUS) but then this is the second best choice if I had to make one. Waiting for farman is also tense since at times waaz must be prepared according to the locality and the maturity of the people who are to listen to it.
I haven't had it difficult to deliver a speech or a bayan on a particular subject ever. And I guess this is the barakat of Jamea Saifiyah only. Offcourse the nazaraat of my beloved Moula (TUS) is the soul of all my strength. I write as I ponder and think on what to do. How wil I prepare myself for such a huge responsibility and by heart beats faster as I think of the farman to go to any xyz place for waaz. Surely, I rely on my Moula's Nazaraat rather then my own capacity which is not only too short to handle such an enormous duty but also has caught what I call, rust, due to the long break.
I have a lot of mawaad and content for the purpose but still feel nervous. I can feel the fear in my veins as tears roll on my cheeks. But I have to do what I have to do. I wait to serve. They also serve who stand and wait.
Mumineen are hungry to cry aloud and mourn Imam Husain (AS) and recieve more ilm during ashara and it is the Dai of Ale Mohammed (AS) who not only has the right but the power to deliver it to them. We Khidmat Guzaars are merely tools in his hand.
I do humbly ask all readers and my friends to remember me during these days. And I am sure I will do the best to make my Moula (TUS) happy with all his help and nazaraat. May Allah bless Moula (TUS) with sehat and afiyat forever. Ameen.